Posted On: 02/17/2012 Current Mood: worshiping
I've been on FaithFreaks for some time now and still haven't written anything! So I thought I'd share God's work in my life. I don't like calling it MY testimony because ultimately it's not my work. It's all God.
Some background on me: I live in the UK. In the north of England (Yorkshire..No I don't sound like the Queen..I wish!)I come from a non-christian home. Meaning: My parents or anyone in my family aren't christians, I'd never heard about Jesus when growing up...well except when we did school plays at Christmas. Even then, Jesus or God were never spoken about.I only went to church when people got married or there was a family christening. I have one older brother. He has a form of Austism called Asperger's Syndrome. Growing up with a sibling who needed extra attention was not always easy, I became fairly independent at a young age. Of course at times I felt a little left out but to be honest I've AlWAYS been just fine with my own company. I was (and still am) a bit of a bookworm! So I'd happily spend my time reading or helping my parents around the house when needed. I was painfully shy too. I hated talking to new people, talking infront of people. There were times I wouldn't even talk to my family.
When it came round to school I would happily sit by myself and any friends I made were few. Even today I have few people I call my friends. Those friends are people I've known for YEARS and will probably know for the rest of my life. I think I put this down to the shyness too and didn't trust people easily. Once people get to know me they find it hard to believe that I was ever that shy!
In school I was a goody goody. Teacher's rarely spoke to me..in hindsight I think if they didn't have to look at my work they wouldn't know I was there. I was a wallflower. Happily! I loved learning, I took in much of what the teacher said..unfortanately, I went through a time of being bullied. It made me more introverted and didn't help on the trust front!
Eventually it was time to go to high school. That thought terrified me! Due to being, well me, the thought of lots of people was scary. Not to mention the likelihood that I would probably be bullied! I was never the conventional one, things like boys, drinking, swearing etc were not things that interested me. I find it really sad that people at that age were aware of things like that.
In a few months of high school, I'd become really good friends with a girl in my tutor group. She was just like me! I found it so amazing that I found someone I could click with.-a dislike of maths (whats the deal with algebra anyway?!?!) formed our friendship. She was insanely intelligent too. Over the months I was getting to know her, it became quite clear that she was very different. She never swore (in school full of teenagers thats so rare...sad but true) alcohol was never an interest. During this time we got talking about our homes and what we do on a weekend. She told me that on Friday evenings she went to her church youth group and on Sundays she would go to church.
When we got to the point in our friendship where we knew weren't judging each other She asked me if I would like to go to her church youth group. I didn't want to offend her but I politely declined. She was and is persistent! Over time I agreed but in hindsight it was probably to keep her quiet! But I went and had a really good time. When I'd been a few times, I was asked if I wanted to go to church with her and her family..that took some time too but thankfully God kept telling her to ask me. I think I went once or twice but that was it. Her church ran a camp in wales for week and eventually I was asked if i wanted to go. Again she had to be very persistent!! And yeah I went to keep her quiet.
That week in Wales is one I look back on with such awe. God so knew what He was doing! And thankfully that's so true today! I was very homesick that week. A very nice lady looked after me and gave me hugs. The activities through the day were always fun but the evening meetings I didn't really enjoy. It was all about God and this guy called Jesus. Towards the end of the week, I was starting to feel better so I started to listen in the meetings. My tent leader gave her testimony one night. Her words are clear now as they were then "I was always a good girl, at school, at home, I did as I was told etc but one day I realised in God's eyes I wasn't a good girl. I needed someone to take all the bad things I'd done away. That's when I heard about Jesus. So I asked God to forgive me...and He did!" That struck home more than anything else that was said that week. That night I asked God to forgive me and told Him that I accepted Jesus. I haven't looked back since. That was 11 years ago!
Over the years that painfully shy girl has now been turned into a more outgoing lady through God's wonderful guidance. Talking to strangers is not such a big problem anymore. Infact, I'll talk to anyone!
I'm not guna lie and tell you all it's all been great and easy because it soooo wasn't and still isn't. My family thought (and still think) I'm going through a phase! High school was even more daunting but God provided my friend and we helped each other! I was shown God is there. He's the same today as He was yesterday and will be in the future. Even with my career. That is another story in itself and one I'll try to write about tomorrow!
That friend and her family are still my friends now after 14 years! The lady from the camp is one of my closest friends. I've been given some amazing friends. Even now, I'm just in total awe! God's challenged me every step of the way but never left me. Even in times when friends left me, He didnt!
I'm sure if you're reading this, you've read my profile and seen that I suffer from Depression. This is a recent challenge but I know God will sustain me through that. But sometimes I feel so alone.
I hope you don't mind me asking this; Could you pray for 2 specific points..
1) For my family..none of them know Jesus as their Saviour. They're happy for me to "do what I do" so long as I "don't involve" them. Their hearts need softening.
2)For the current challenge God is taking me through. Depression can be so lonely, so tiring and is very misunderstood. People can be very judgemental about it and often tell me to just "get over it" which often results in more downcast moods. I'm always encouraged to know I'm not on my own (God's not left me) and even the best of them have suffered through times of Depression...David was no stranger to these kind of feelings! But in the times when you feel down it can be hard to remember those things.
So thank you for reading this. And well done for making it to the end. I apologise for writing so much but don't apologise for why I wrote it.
Crystal: Shaes Twin|
Reply to this
|Feb 24, 2012 7:49 pm|
I didn't find it too long. In fact it's wonderful :) I always love to see stories of how God is faithful, thank you for sharing :)